Life with Ariana

Hello everyone, it’s been awhile since my last post, I went on vacation last week and I’ve also been getting ready for college, I finally move in this weekend. It seems like everything is happening so fast, I’m excited but also nervous. Anyways, today is my 18th birthday and I decided to do a post that would make me reflect on my year of being seventeen. Most of these are very personal and I decided to write this for me in my journal, however I thought it would be nice to share with you all, everything I learned this past year.

I learned that/to….. 

1. My mental health comes first. I think that during my senior year is when I finally realized that my mental health is valid. I had such a difficult year mentally and I realized that my mental health is just as important as my physical health.
2. If I have the opportunity to fix something, then I should do it as soon as possible. I learned this the hard way, but there were so many times when I could change something, but all I did was fear “what if’s” my mind and wasted time.
3. Challenge my avoidance. My anxiety has been the worse it’s ever been this past year, from the start of senior year until as recently as a few weeks ago. There were so many, many events that I unfortunately avoided, because I was so afraid and because of that, I will never have memories of those events in my life.
4. To deal through uncomfortable situations. Of course no one wants to feel uncomfortable, however the feeling is impossible to flee. I had lots of practice, sitting with those uncomfortable feelings, giving myself that exposure. I’ve also learned ways to cope with it and make it better.
5. Take chances on first-time opportunities. On a more positive note, there were few very memorable occasions I took apart of. My fear almost got the best of me, but I took those chances and did not regret one of them.
6. Get out of the house and do something for yourself. During the winter months, I felt so alone and isolated, I stayed home pretty much everyday secluded from everything, except my appointments. Maybe what I really needed was just some time outside of the house even if I was just solo.
7. The library is a sacred and underrated place. This ones a little different, but this was the one place I always felt safe whether it be at school or my public library. During the school year, whenever I didn’t have classes, I would go to the library and sit in the back, next to window and daze off sometimes, looking into the gloomy sky. I felt okay there, and sometimes if you just need sometime to be by yourself, the library is the right spot, to tune everything out.
8. Gratitude practices make a difference. This year I was challenged with practicing gratitude by my therapist. At first I thought to myself, “this is useless”, however it was far from the truth. The more I began to practice this skill, the more I realized how much more appreciative it made me of everything. (I highly recommend everyone trying some different gratitude practices).
9. It’s okay to just sit and cry. I accepted that sometimes crying is needed, everything feels better once you cry. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.
10. Living outside of your comfort zone is probably one of the best things. I unfortunately probably was in a cave most of the time (metaphorically speaking), but those very limited times when I got out of my shell, were the absolute best. Hopefully that’s a goal that I stride for more when I’m 18.
11. Challenging yourself is a great way for you to grow as a person. Any challenge that you give to yourself, will shape you into the person you are looking to become. Set the bar up high and challenge yourself.
12. If people are there for you, then open up to them. There were a few people in my life, that were there for me when I needed them, and I just couldn’t express what I was feeling or going through, but if I could go back and change that I most definitely would.
13. Write, Write, & Write. Release your endless emotions: write them down, journal, blog, or just type them in your phone. Creating my blog was one of the best things I’ve ever done and it gave me this outlet to express everything I am passionate about and to have the freedom to write about anything on my mind.
14. If you feel that your struggling mentally, seek a therapist or talk to a counselor/social worker. I finally started seeing a therapist a little bit after I turned 17. As well as, last year at school, I finally reached out to my school social worker, and I realized that it’s okay to just go and see them. Sometimes you need a break from your class and need to talk to someone who understands what you may be feeling. Thankfully I had an amazing guidance counselor and social worker at my school, that I was able to see throughout the day.
15. My mom is always there for me. Yes, my mom was probably always there for me, but this last year was unlike any other year. After all that I went through, I had to say that everything impacted her in various ways. Most of all, she helped me finish school when I lost motivation and continued to help me with any of my needs.
16. Sometimes it’s the most simplest things that feed the soul. It may be just hearing the waves clash on the shore, or that bite into your favorite meal, or maybe feeling the warmth of the sun against your skin. Be mindful during these sensations and remember them.
17. I’m still finding who I am and want to become. I saved this one for last because this is something I constantly think about. I’m often confused about life, and although life is a journey about self-discovery, I know that through time I will find myself and know who I am.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed this very sentimental post.  If you enjoyed this post then do not forget to like it and please subscribe with your email in the sidebar, to be notified of new posts through your email, (be sure to confirm subscription in email). Also make sure to follow me on my social media pages down below, I will follow back all other fellow bloggers!

talk to you soon, ariana. ♡

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